World Mental Health Day: Mental health can be a mountain to climb
But Rocky Clark says you’re never alone.
Rocky Clark, for some while the most-capped England player of all time exudes resilience, confidence and strength.
Throw her a challenge and she’ll take it on. Her achievements include 137 caps for England, playing a big part in the Rugby World Cups of 2006, 2010, 2014, and 2017 and being awarded an MBE for her services to rugby.
But like everyone, Rocky has had her personal challenges – including dealing with the devastation of her father’s suicide when she was just 11 years old.
Hoping talking can help someone else
“I couldn’t talk about my dad’s suicide, I was too close to it, but it was massive to deal with,” she said. “You have questions like why weren’t we good enough, why didn’t he love us enough? Someone walks out and then there’s the suddenness of their death, very different aspects of grieving and you’re only 11. At 16 I channelled everything into rugby and that saved me.
“I will talk about it now if it can help someone else, someone else’s family. It’s important to give people the knowledge that there is always another way out. It’s a lonely world out there but if we are struggling, we need to have the confidence to ring someone, or reach out, to be brave and realise everyone suffers from mental health issues like depression at some point and you need someone to support you to get out of that hole.”
That’s why Rocky joined up with the other three ‘golden girls’ - the crazy foursome who take on challenges for good causes. Rocky, England’s Tamara Taylor and Amy Garnett and Scotland’s Donna Kennedy wanted to support rugby mental health charity Looseheadz in their efforts to put a mental health lead in every rugby club in every nation. The mental health charity has already achieved a total of 1,250 mental health leads worldwide.
At 43, Rocky played for the Barbarians in Cape Town in September before heading to Sardinia for a tough charity cycle covering 375km up the mountainous coastline in intense heat for the Jason Robinson Foundation, giving disadvantaged youngsters a chance to experience rugby. She set off for the Alps to climb Mount Buet three days later. “Completely wrecked and with little sleep” she put herself out of her comfort zone again to raise awareness and vital funds for Looseheadz.
She and the golden girls were undertaking “the most mentally challenging thing” she’d ever done. “There was the fear of falling down the mountain in treacherous snowy conditions, hanging on to chains on massive rocks,” said Rocky.
An advocate for counselling support
“For me personally, a survivor of suicide 30 years on and having suffered poor mental health throughout my rugby career, breaking the cycle, letting people know there are other ways to deal with stress, anxiety, overthinking is so fundamentally important.
“There should not be a taboo and I’m happy to tell my story if it helps people to get help, to seek counselling. As a rugby player you go through a lot of self-doubt, are you good enough, are you giving enough to your team? Especially as an older player, you question whether you are good enough.
“It was only late in my rugby career that, with the Rugby Players’ Association's help, I got counselling support. If I’d had that help 10 years earlier how much easier my international career might have been. I need maintenance counselling, regularly going back and I’ve just started counselling again. It has such a positive impact.
“I didn’t acknowledge I had mental health issues in my 20s, I faced them for the first time in my 30s and I own it now, I’m happy to be an advocate for getting help, for getting counselling.”
And that’s why Rocky and her three friends struggled to the summit of Mount Buet – to tell others they can get through the toughest times and there’s always someone to reach out to.
She’s continuing to give back and looking for her next adventure when she’s not doing commentary, guest speaking or coaching…
